I am thrilled and honored that Kathy Escobar is partipcating in pastors week. Every day this week a pastor will write a guest post on cross-gender friendship. Kathy and I met online about six years ago. We share a common passion about gender equality and cross-gender friendship. She co-pastors at The Refuge in North Denver. She's a trailblazer, rule-breaker, dreamer, writer, advocate, and a dear friend. Kathy has spoken at two Sacred Friendship Gatherings.
“There is nothing on this earth to be more prized than true friendship.”
- St. Thomas Aquinas
Cultivating healthy, strengthening, encouraging, equal friendships is an art, not science. A very lost art at that.
In fact, I feel quite sure an honest poll would reveal that most people (Christians and non-Christians alike) don’t have the kinds of friendships they long for. That most don’t really know how to do them in a way that works long-term. That some feel as inadequate now as we did when we were in junior high, even though we fake it better. That many don’t even know what healthy friendship is supposed to look or feel like. And that it seems there’s never enough time to develop them.
I am also going to take a leap and say that in the Christian world, it’s even worse. There are countless other weird dynamics at play in Christian friendships that even further complicate what’s already complicated.
Here's why: Real friendship requires interdependence.
A give-and-take. Grace. Intention. Vulnerability. Risk.