So what would have happened had Scot McKnight asked how his blog readers would have felt had their married adult daughter come to her parents to say, “I’ve been going to a therapist. He’s been helping me work through some issues.”
Would any of them raised issues about emotional boundaries? Would anybody have expressed deep concerns about the daughter meeting alone weekly with another man who is not her husband? Would Scot have warned about the emotional boundaries and safeguards of “exclusivism” in marriage?
Let’s hit the rewind button for a second. Scot McKnight, a friend, a theologian, one of evangelicalism’s most prolific and respected bloggers graciously introduced my book to his readers when it first came out. I am grateful for Scot’s generosity even though we have differences on male-female friendship, oneness, and marriage.
“Inappropriate Relationships and Evangelical Therapists” provides an opportunity to revisit those differences. You can read parts one and two here to catch up.
Within this series, I am highlighting some significant aspects of an expanding conversation among evangelicals. There are several things to explore with this series: ambiguities, contradictions among evangelicals about emotional depth and fidelity, two-tiered elite/lay system, the “unholy trinity,” and redemptive oneness in marriage and friendship.
Let’s start where Scot and I agree.
Continue reading "Inappropriate Relationships and Evangelical Therapists Pt. 3" »


Wow....Jean, I decided to make your response an entire blog post worthy of its own post. You made my day as I checked my inbox. What a delight to hear from you and for you to understand the wonderful communal depth of friendship between a man and woman.
Dan - What a wonderful blog. I have only just begun to explore it but am thrilled by what I have discovered so far. My closest spiritual friend - we are Catholic - is a grandfather many times over, married for almost 33 years to the love of his life and I am a very happily single (divorced) woman in discernment of consecrated religious life. Our friendship is not without temptation (LIFE is tempting!) but our friendship *is* wholly without risk. I found your mention of "this statement about friendship by Anne E Carr and how it does parallel with our relationship with God: 'A friend is one whose presence is joy, ever-deepening relationship and love, ever available in direct address, in communion and presence. A friend is one who remains fundamentally a mystery, inexhaustible, never fully known, always surprising. Yet a friend is familiar, comforting, at home. A friend is one who urges human freedom and autonomy in decision, yet one who is present in the community of interdependence. And this friend in fact, continually strives to create community'."