Letting Go for a Greater Good

I am participating in the May Synchroblog and this is my contribution. I am supposed to blog on some things I have "let go" on my journey: "Have you found more life by letting go of something? So many of us are continuing to grow in our faith by letting go of things that we once held tightly. These things aren’t easy to shed. Sometimes people think we’ve lost our minds, are ascribing to bad theology, or have put our souls in mortal danger. But many of us, in different ways, have found a deeper, richer, and riskier spiritual life as we’ve let go of certain rules, doctrines, theologies, or practices along the way. "

I will highlight a couple of significant items I've let go. 

The first one was definitely a biggie (painful, difficult, challenging): reformed theology with a big emphasis on what is called by some "the five points of calvinism." For almost twenty years of my adult Christian journey, I identified myself with the Calvinist movement. My heroes were Martyn LLoyd Jones, Charles Spurgeon, John Murray, Jonathan Edwards, scores of Puritans, John Piper, Sinclair Ferguson, D.A. Carson and others.  I used to devour reformed writings. Then, I devoured the philosophical debate between determinism and free will. Oh goodness, I was into the endless debates over  who was "hard" and "soft."  

I can't precisely pinpoint when I "let go" of this but it was a difficult process because I was so entrenched in this way of looking at life, reality, and God. But no doubt part of the process was the fruitfulness, vitality, and life I saw in others who were not Calvinists. I became more and more disenchanted with "us vs. them" when it came to theological postures. In the Calvinist sectarianism I was a part of, there was so little room to deeply embrace someone who was not a Calvinist. 

I now have a great appreciation for God's sovereignty but I have to confess I am now very uncomfortable with present-day Reformed interpretations (like the well-known John Piper piece on the tornado in Minneapolis). Turned off. I usually see more than one way of looking at things now and I have pretty much stayed away from theological debates. I don't spend a lot of energy over abstract debates about God's sovereignty and freedom of the will. I know there is a place for theological discussion but debates on interpretations of sovereignty and free will are no longer appealing to me. 

Another item I had to let go on my spiritual journey was the complementarian view of women in ministry.  This happened, as my friendships with women became deeper. For me, tradition and the complementarian position made sense until I formed deep friendships with women. Although friendship can take many forms (friendships can be asymmetrical) I found it incredibly challenging to be wide open to mutuality in intimacy with women in friendship without also rethinking hermeneutics.   I know what some of my complementarian friends would say about that.

But I have come to see that friendship is part of the hermeneutical process. Evangelicals understand the role of friendship in shaping hermeneutics for that's what happens when they encourage when they encourage Christians to befriend those outside of Christ: they hope love will shape the unbeliever's hermeneutics. So in letting go of the complementarian position because of friendships with women what I have done is embrace the importance of love and friendship in hermemeutics. I make no apologies now when I affirm that love and friendship are important shapers of anyone's hermeneutics. 

There are other significant items I've had to let go on the journey but I will close this post with this one: I've had to let go of my desire to be in full time pastorate ministry. This is one that I've had to release several times in my journey. In some seasons it doesn't make sense to release it. In other seasons it does. I'm an INFP--and that's a nice fit for pastoral ministry. I love to teach. I teach/train in my secular job. I also manage people in my secular job. I do  like to listen and hear other's stories and be present with them. For all intense purposes, one could say I "pastor" at some level in my secular job. There are times when it seems like  a no-brainer. There are transferable skills, let's say.

For a long season, I gave up on my pursuing full time ministry. Then, the Lord opened the door for me to go to Trinity Divinity (long story but I only had 6 college credits to my name). That open door stirred desires for ministry once again. But alas, that door shut when I could only afford to go only so far. I now have 6 undergrad credits to my name and 27 graduate credits. 

But even beyond that, at least for me, I had to give up my desire for pastoral ministry when I wrote and published Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions. It takes a lot of love and friendship (i.e. hermeneutics again at the local level) for a community to embrace a leader who embraces cross-gender friendships and not the romantic myth paradigm. Just ask a typical congregant if a married leader can go canoeing with their opposite sex friend or just go hang out with their cross-gender friend for the day like other friends do. I'm not into a rule-based sexuality for leaders. If I have to choose my longstanding friendships over an official pastoral position, I'm much richer with the friendships. The Kingdom is greater than rules for men and women in ministry. 

Kathy Escobar at the carnival in my head: Letting God off the hook

Pam Hogeweide at How God Messed Up My Religion: Letting Go of a Church-centered Me

More links when I get them

 

Comments

[Lynne]

Man, I knew we had something in common! I'm ex-Calvinist (20 years a Presbyterian) -- only left it behind when I studied theology -- and again it was a friend who helped change my mind. I'm also ex -complementarian -- in some ways that was a scarier journey because it meant stepping out to do things that I had been taught to believe were sinful for a woman.

Ohyes, an INFP here as well! (It fascinates me that for what is one of the rarer types, I seem to know more than my fair share of us :)

[John Martinez]

Nice Post Dan. I now have hope for my friends who embrace this theology that there is salvation. I am glad to hear of your deliverance from the things that no longer served you as a Christ-follower. Take care.

[kathyescobar]

thanks for sharing, dan, i deeply respect your journey...