Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions: Reviews

Here is a snapshot of the reviews so far for Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions:

"My husband and I are often frustrated by typical "Christian" views of male-female relationships which can be boxy and ownership-based (as in marriage). Dan Brennan's book offers a wider, more complex, more accurate view of the world. " Susan Matheson.

"Growing up in the evangelical church, I read many books, and heard many sermons where the basic message was: it's just too dangerous for men and women to be friends unless there is authentic potential for them to become a dating/married pair. Men and women weren't supposed to ride in the same car alone together. The problem was that I have always had friends who are men - people I like being around, and have things in common with. Either I was married, or they were married, or both - I wasn't looking for romance, just friendship. But everything I head in the church told me there was something wrong with this. That's why I'm so grateful this book has come along. The author lays out a case for understanding male-female friendship as something that can have all the markings of "regular" friendship - the closeness and the laughter and the familiarity, while also dealing with the stickier issue of attraction. I have never come across a book which deals with this issue in this kind of depth." Jennifer Roach

"Dan Brennans Book SUSP is the best I've ever read on the topic of male and female friendship from the perspective of Jesus. It is long overdue, courageous and truly groundbreaking. I expect it will receive a great deal of resistance as it causes people to face their own stuff. Especially those in power - namely men" Jim Henderson

" There aren't many books out there about real friendship between men and women. Not just good working relationships or social acquaintances, but deep friendships where sex *doesn't* get in the way. This is a book about just that. It takes a particularly Christian perspective (Jesus occurs as a positive example with regularity, and the church is the presumed communal context), and offers a picture of what is possible between men and women even in this sex-saturated culture. For readers who feel frustrated by what feel like out-dated "rules" about what is appropriate between men and women who are not in a romantic relationship, it will be a breath of fresh air. For readers who are comfortable with the relative safety of high guards in non-romantic relationships, it will raise questions which need to be considered as they both engage with the opposite sex and encounter others who chose to handle those relationships differently. " Jennifer Ellen

"Well thought out, well researched, and well written. Dan Brennan explores the world of Christian cross gender relationships. What makes this book unique is that Brennan deals openly and honestly with how cross gender relationships can be beneficial to married couples and singles a like. Brennan's research is historical as well as Biblically based. Not staying to anecdotal information or scare tactic stories that permeate some Christian books. " S.J. Dawson

"As a single woman, this book has been a God-given challenge to a lifetime of boundaries motivated by fear and self-protection. Having believed that my singleness meant life without meaningful male friendships, Dan's book has come my way as a joyful correction. God's Kingdom beckons us to counter rather than simply manage our sin. By facing our own selfishness and pursuing Christ's example of care towards the other sex, we can experience God's shalom even in the area of our sexuality. I hope that many in the evangelical church and beyond honestly wrestle with Dan's message that challenges us to embrace God's "Kingdom come" in all areas of our lives. " S. Osborne

"Dan Brennan's ground-breaking book "Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions" courageously attacks the oldest and most difficult wall dividing the Christian church--the wall between male and female. Brick by brick, he dismantles the notion that intimate, even passionate, friendships between men and women are impossible and dangerous. He builds instead an eloquent case that male/female friendships are healthy, and necessary for becoming whole and complete people...This book casts a vision of relational freedom that also celebrates personal responsibility, a concern for the well-being of others, and the sacredness of each person we are in relationship with--whether spouse or friends. As a Bible scholar and leader in my own church, I was impressed with the depth of research and the academic and spiritual integrity of Brennan's conclusions." Meredith Efken

As a single, I can attest to everything Dan Brennan states about today's church culture--we are isolated, ignored, or if we become close to somebody, viewed as a potential "other woman" that could bring about marital problems. Not even our pastors are allowed to care and show love to singles!

"Dan Brennan brings forth example after example of the potential of friendship, of communion within the Christian community. Yet, it is as if readings from the Bible have been so distorted by our sexualized culture that there is no way to reach out to a brother church member to seek guidance, counseling, prayer, yes friendship. " Glenda Bixler

Dan Brennan's splendidly readable, and charitably subversive, "Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions Engaging the Mystery of Friendship Between Men and Women"
definitely came along at the right time for me...the way he traces church history (I recently learned a lot about church history...by teaching it! That the "holy kiss" commanded in the New Testament was counterinuitively on the lips, even when cross-gender, nailed me...but not as much as the profound reason for that, see this link) and interweaves solid biblical exegesis, and knows just the right quote from hugely helpful thinkers as Leanne Payne, Rob Bell, Scot McKnight, Marva Dawn, Rodney Clapp, catapults this to a five-star review." Dave Wainscott

 I was intrigued by the premise of this book and I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I have known for sometime that a man and a woman can have a wonderful (platonic) friendship.

I personally have had many woman friends over the years and one in particular that was during a time when I needed a friend most of all. It was a friendship that strengthened my faith and pushed me to think of my relationship with Christ as more than just private and personal. However, throughout those times, I never could fully legitimize these relationships (in my mind) because of societal taboos. This book explained to my head what my heart had known all along...What an awesome book... I recommend it unstintingly!" Daniel Rustad

"The book is well researched and documented. Brennan complements his own words with support from psychology, theology, history, etc. Second, while he argues against the relational exclusivity in marriage, he has a high view of marriage and the importance of purity, sanctity, and fidelity (I believe hearing even more about marriage in this book would have strengthened the book's argument). Finally, the book is challenging. Christian culture has, however well-intentioned, created an unhealthy barrier between genders based less on the scriptural witness and more on Freudian psychology. In light of these barriers, any alternatives suggested require significant reflection, deconstruction, and reconstruction of how men and women interact. Yet, with Brennan, I agree that it is a challenge worth facing, as restoring the health of our relationships - our sacred unions - both inside and outside of marriage is an essential task in the journey towards living as a new creation. This is a book I will recommend to others, particularly those in Christian communities who are seeking to understand what it means to live life together in healthy, God-and-other-honoring ways." David Kludt

"In Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions, Dan Brennan opens a space for regarding cross-sex friendships as masterpieces of balance rather than as moments in a work of romantic excess. By doing so, the field is cleared for cross-sex friendship as an end-in-itself (or, we might say, cross-sex friendship’s own meaning in the truth of the resurrection).

I like this. It neither chucks the Christian system of sexual ethics as a whole (by writing friendship as a field of excess) nor capitulates to a reductive field for friendship (by demarcating its limits with rules and policies)." Josh W.






This is not a book for people who are looking for a set of retreaded do's and don'ts. There are no built in "run away" warnings. Rather than a legalistic document Brennan treats his readers with respect, expecting that they are mature in their faith.

Comments

[Rick Nier]

I saw many (not here) reviews that asked the question 'did this book need to be written?' More often than not they went on to say that the idea was good but that it didn't pan out in their world because they already had great cross-gender friendships.

I didn't think that at all, but then again, I've never been the mac-daddy of cross-gender friendships either. It made me wonder if others are covering for fear of exposure or if this is something that is affecting only those within the church. I only say that because of the church's penchant for segregation in this area for the cause of 'purity'.

I think Dan provides some good answers to this, but what is underlying those who don't see this as needed encouragement?