Faith Dance

Redeeming Sexuality (for those of you in the Chicago area - the rest of you are unredeemable)

Come join us at Life on the Vine for a discussion about how Christian community can be an agent in the redemption of sexuality between men and women.

Dan Brennan and Jennifer Ould will be sharing and facilitating a discussion about the fears that divide us as men and women, and how Christians in community can build bridges to become safe places for healing and for growing relationships characterized by grace.

We will be having fellowship at 6:30 and starting the discussion around 7:00pm.

 

Friday, March 20, 2009

6:30pm - 9:30pm

Life on Vine Christian Community

5105 RFD Arlington Heights Rd

Long Grove, IL

 

Disclaimer: This advertisement was copied and pasted in by Dan's (somewhat irreverent) friend, Jennifer O., and thus Dan is not responsible for any aspersions on non-chicagoans.

Friendship Between the Sexes and Culture-Creating Leadership

First, the bad news.  For those of you who read my blog and have supported me to see my book published, Chip MacGregor has officially ended his efforts in shopping my manuscript around.  He says the economy has really forced publishers to not take any chances whatsoever.  So, I'm not only a first time author, but someone espousing a controversial issue.  He did tell me how much he LIKED (his caps) my book and thought if it weren't for the economy, he would have found a publisher.  

This didn't come as a complete surprise.  I am actually at peace with this in God's timing.  I'm obviously disappointed.  But I am also at peace.  I'm an author of a quality book/manuscript.  And, if people are really cutting back on their book purchases, then hey, let's see what happens when the economy gets going again.  But this is a special purpose book--and so, I would publish it if I were offered a contract with a good publisher. 

So for the time being, faith dance is the place in cyberworld where serious conversation can take place on friendship between the sexes in the Christian community and the world.  I appreciate your prayers and support as I enter into unchartered territory for myself personally.  I am sure some of you are now acquainted with Andy Crouch's book, Culture Making.  He draws out the power of creating a new culture with first 3 people, then 12, and then 120 and beyond.  In one sense, this blog has been a unique place for resources for  friendship between the sexes.  In another sense, it has been my attempt to connect with a much broader audience outside my immediate community.  There is a particular connectedness with those who see the redemptive beauty, goodness, and telos of friendship between the sexes.  There is definitely a bonding that has developed for those sympathetic to a different kind of culture for the sexes than just than the 1950's Billy Graham rules. 

A New Chapter

No, not in my unpublished book.  It is a new chapter for deep cross-gender friendship and local community.  My good friend Jennifer is beginning to attend Life on the Vine, the same church I am an elder in.   

The fact that I advocate close cross-gender friendships in practice and theory (i.e. I have written a book on the subject) as well as the fact that I am an elder is an interesting challenge of navigating complex loves.  Obviously because its such a hot topic, some people have passionate definite opinions.  I am now trying to process what, if any, I share on my blog about the immediate challenge to navigate a close-gender friendship in this complicated context.  Perhaps my experience is going to add another chapter in my book. 

Once: Friendship, Romance, and Ordered Desires

I continue to process this really good movie, Once.  My paradoxical musings are percolating.

1.  Friendship, Romance, and No Sex.

The friendship between the guy and the girl is healing for both of them.  Their friendship is redemptive.  Their connection over music gives them a better understanding of who they are and strengthens them to go forth into the world.  The fact that they do not end up in bed when there is chemistry or attraction present in the relationship is utterly refreshing.  The girl's resistance to spend the night with him is certainly a mature and healthy response to what we will soon find out is a messy situation.  For many Christians this resonates with goodness and beauty in ordered desires.  The ending would have been much more destructive or messier, had the girl and guy had sex.  That would have made this complicated friendship inextricably complicated and messy for both parties and for the immediate people in their stories. 

Once: Brokenness and Goodness and Yearning for More

I don't remember the last time I have had so much deep, mixed, disconnected, and good feelings about a movie but more than six hours after watching Once I am still processing a messy but very good movie.  Have you seen it?  Critics liked it.  It did great at the box office.  I thought for a movie, it was indeed, good.  But it also left me with many questions.  I had several people recommend the film to me as a great example of cross-gender friendship.  For me, I couldn't recommend this film for anyone who wants to see a solid movie on cross-gender friendship.

Have you seen it?  Do you think it a good film about cross-gender friendship?  I think it is a good movie.  But I don't consider this a good film on cross-gender friendship.  Part of my mixed response to the film is that I came into it expecting something that would value cross-gender friendship but also knowing that almost everywhere I looked at read that this was a romantic film. 

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day--faith dance style.  What a beautiful day to celebrate love--to celebrate ordered love!  And, that's what I have been celebrating.  Sheila and I had a blessed morning and we got plans for a nice dinner with a good bottle of wine overlooking a half of dozen roses. 

and...earlier today, I brought Jennifer flowers (no, not red roses) celebrating her wonderful presence in my life.  There is something indescribably sweet about celebrating ordered love.   

Christian Spirituality, Friendship, and Community

It's been a while since I've blogged.  I have had some amazing conversations about community, friendship, freedom, love, and transparency.  If you get to know me, I am a transparent guy.  The typical stereotype of men is that we are invulnerable, non-transparent, and independent.  I've been socialized differently.  I come at it from the opposite end of the spectrum as it were. 

I'm into transparency and vulnerability.  I like connecting with people (men or women) who send signals they value transparency and vulnerability.  I don't initially connect well with people who give the image they have it altogether.   Men who are into vulnerability and transparency fall short of ideal evangelical stereotypes about masculinity and independence--the evangelical subculture's interpretation of independence. 

I'm also into deep grace, freedom, feasting, and love these days.

This makes for some fascinating conversation and connection in community.

Reign Over Me

I saw the movie, Reign Over Me last night with Jennifer for the first time:

  

Jen says it is quickly becoming a habit for me to review movies on my blog that the two of us just watched.  This was a powerful movie for me at many levels.  It was somehow fitting that I saw it with Jen.  If you haven't seen it, this is a spoiler alert if you want to read on. 

Very Blessed...

Despite the news about the delays in getting my book published, I am a very happy and blessed man.  Sheila told me that when Jen came out to pray for her on her birthday, she said to Jen regarding our friendship, "my marriage is much better because of your friendship with Dan.  What I have given to you, I have received much more in  return." 

Rocky Balboa: Hollywood & Cross Gender Friendship

It has been rare in my experience when a woman highly recommends a boxing movie as a "must see" film.  That was indeed the case, when Jennifer O. urged me to see Rocky Balboa the sixth film in the Rocky series released several years ago. 

What is even more rare than a woman telling me a boxing film is a "must see," is when Hollywood does do a great job of portraying the depth of a complex, intimate, cross-gender friendship that doesn't end up in sex or romance.  Jennifer urged me to see this last film saying that it did a wonderful job of depicting such a relationship.  So this past Friday night we rented the dvd and watched the movie.   

Have you seen the film?  Have you seen it through the eyes of a cross-gender friendship grid?  I highly recommend it.  Spolier alert if you haven't seen it and don't me to give anything away....don't go further.