12 Favorite Quotes from 2008 (from Faith Dance)

Here are 12 of my favorite quotes this year concerning cgfs. 

January:

"Despite all our social and cultural expectations, everything we see in fiction, films and on television, real-life men and women are getting on without wanting or needing to get it on...These kinds of bonds are not, as they tend to be portrayed, merely a poor and temporary substitute for a more desirable sexual relationship." Lisa Gee

February:

"Though there are many examples of associations between men or women that have been central to the religious maturation of the partners, there is a special quality to the male and female friendship."  Wendy Wright

"Cross-sex friendships are becoming more commonplace throughout the life cycle and should no longer be considered relational anamolies, aberations, or functionally identical to same-sex friendships."

Michael Monsour Men and Women as Friends

April:

"In the Christian setting, this means that a cross-gender friendship can only be realized in the context of an inner asceticism that refuses to yield to passion out of the yearning  for something greater than sexual satisfaction.  For the friendship to succeed, it is not necessary to deny that sexual tension may exist...These are relationships that forge the transformation of eros into a glorious and rich philia."

Paul D. O'Callaghan The Feast of Friendship

May:

"To sustain our lives, to enable us to experience the full range of our pleasures, to achieve the deep emotional connections with lovers and friends,we must remember that ways that gender does and does not construct our emotional lives.  To pretend that women and men are from different planets condemns us, at best, to occasional interplanetary travel, with interpreters and technical assitance.  I'd prefer that the interpreters stay home, and that we learn to reveal more of ourselves.  Love and friendship are deeply human experiences--ones we should manage on our own.  As the great British novelist E.M. Forster wrote of passionate human connection--'men and women are capable of sustained relations, not mere opportunities for an electrical discharge."

Michael Kimmel, The Gendered Society

June:

"But the assumption that the sexual dimension negates all other influences on cross-sex friendships denies the historicity of such relationships.  Like female friendships, friendships between men and women are socially constructed, and the same historical questions relate to both genres."

Linda Rosenzweig, Another Self: Middle-Class Women and Their Friends in the Twentieth Century

July:

"Only those who wish to find evil in our friendship will do so--and I, for one, will not have my life ruled by that sort of person."  Margaret Suckley writing in her diary on her friendship with Franklin Roosevelt, January 22, 1945

August:

"An inordinate concern over avoiding the appearance of evil has in many cases robbed us of meaningful connection as men and women."

Ruth Haley Barton

September:

"I find this concern about sexual temptation often overstressed and used as an excuse to marginalize women...I do worry a bit that behind the fear of temptation is a false view of female sexuality."

Frank James, Mixed Ministry

October:

"Authentic intimacy unwraps us by degrees, exposing us layer by layer to one another.  Spiritual friends unbandage us; they reveal us to ourselves.   But this is not to be feared, for they also pull us toward Christ.  As we are exposed, such friends stand ready to bathe us in grace, to flush out old wounds with tears and trust.  In the end, it is chastity, not promiscuity, that disrobes us before one another.  Thanks to the passion of spiritual friendship, we stand naked and vulnerable--without defense and pretext--before the passion of Christ...Friends hold out the promise of "being known," not through orgasm but through communion, first with God, and, through God, with one another."
Kenda Creasy Dean

November:

"Although embodiment as male or female represents limitations, loving interaction with the other can open up undreamed-of possibilities." 

Mary Aquin O'Neill, "The Mystery of Being Human Together" in Freeing Theology

December:

"The world is full of the sexually fragmented who are longing for the wholeness of the kingdom.  Victory is not a matter of living in fear of sexual sin: that is as much an idolatry of sex as looking to sexuality for ultimate fulfillment is...The church is called to walk in the tension between the idolatries of sexuality, between the illusory safety of rules and the risky obedience of victory, between what we are and what we are not yet."

Jennifer Ould

 

"Despite all our social and cultural expectations, everything we see in fiction, films and on television, real-life men and women are getting on without wanting or needing to get it on...These kinds of bonds are not, as they tend to be portrayed, merely a poor and temporary substitute for a more desirable sexual relationship." Lisa Gee

February:

"Though there are many examples of associations between men or women that have been central to the religious maturation of the partners, there is a special quality to the male and female friendship."  Wendy Wright

"Cross-sex friendships are becoming more commonplace throughout the life cycle and should no longer be considered relational anamolies, aberations, or functionally identical to same-sex friendships."

Michael Monsour Men and Women as Friends

April:

"In the Christian setting, this means that a cross-gender friendship can only be realized in the context of an inner asceticism that refuses to yield to passion out of the yearning  for something greater than sexual satisfaction.  For the friendship to succeed, it is not necessary to deny that sexual tension may exist...These are relationships that forge the transformation of eros into a glorious and rich philia."

Paul D. O'Callaghan The Feast of Friendship

May:

"To sustain our lives, to enable us to experience the full range of our pleasures, to achieve the deep emotional connections with lovers and friends,we must remember that ways that gender does and does not construct our emotional lives.  To pretend that women and men are from different planets condemns us, at best, to occasional interplanetary travel, with interpreters and technical assitance.  I'd prefer that the interpreters stay home, and that we learn to reveal more of ourselves.  Love and friendship are deeply human experiences--ones we should manage on our own.  As the great British novelist E.M. Forster wrote of passionate human connection--'men and women are capable of sustained relations, not mere opportunities for an electrical discharge."

Michael Kimmel, The Gendered Society

June:

"But the assumption that the sexual dimension negates all other influences on cross-sex friendships denies the historicity of such relationships.  Like female friendships, friendships between men and women are socially constructed, and the same historical questions relate to both genres."

Linda Rosenzweig, Another Self: Middle-Class Women and Their Friends in the Twentieth Century

July:

"Only those who wish to find evil in our friendship will do so--and I, for one, will not have my life ruled by that sort of person."  Margaret Suckley writing in her diary on her friendship with Franklin Roosevelt, January 22, 1945

August:

"An inordinate concern over avoiding the appearance of evil has in many cases robbed us of meaningful connection as men and women."

Ruth Haley Barton

September:

"I find this concern about sexual temptation often overstressed and used as an excuse to marginalize women...I do worry a bit that behind the fear of temptation is a false view of female sexuality."

Frank James, Mixed Ministry

October:

"Authentic intimacy unwraps us by degrees, exposing us layer by layer to one another.  Spiritual friends unbandage us; they reveal us to ourselves.   But this is not to be feared, for they also pull us toward Christ.  As we are exposed, such friends stand ready to bathe us in grace, to flush out old wounds with tears and trust.  In the end, it is chastity, not promiscuity, that disrobes us before one another.  Thanks to the passion of spiritual friendship, we stand naked and vulnerable--without defense and pretext--before the passion of Christ...Friends hold out the promise of "being known," not through orgasm but through communion, first with God, and, through God, with one another."
Kenda Creasy Dean

November:

"Although embodiment as male or female represents limitations, loving interaction with the other can open up undreamed-of possibilities." 

Mary Aquin O'Neill, "The Mystery of Being Human Together" in Freeing Theology

December:

"The world is full of the sexually fragmented who are longing for the wholeness of the kingdom.  Victory is not a matter of living in fear of sexual sin: that is as much an idolatry of sex as looking to sexuality for ultimate fulfillment is...The church is called to walk in the tension between the idolatries of sexuality, between the illusory safety of rules and the risky obedience of victory, between what we are and what we are not yet."

Jennifer Ould

 

"Cross-sex friendships are becoming more commonplace throughout the life cycle and should no longer be considered relational anamolies, aberations, or functionally identical to same-sex friendships."

Michael Monsour Men and Women as Friends

April:

"In the Christian setting, this means that a cross-gender friendship can only be realized in the context of an inner asceticism that refuses to yield to passion out of the yearning  for something greater than sexual satisfaction.  For the friendship to succeed, it is not necessary to deny that sexual tension may exist...These are relationships that forge the transformation of eros into a glorious and rich philia."

Paul D. O'Callaghan The Feast of Friendship

May:

"To sustain our lives, to enable us to experience the full range of our pleasures, to achieve the deep emotional connections with lovers and friends,we must remember that ways that gender does and does not construct our emotional lives.  To pretend that women and men are from different planets condemns us, at best, to occasional interplanetary travel, with interpreters and technical assitance.  I'd prefer that the interpreters stay home, and that we learn to reveal more of ourselves.  Love and friendship are deeply human experiences--ones we should manage on our own.  As the great British novelist E.M. Forster wrote of passionate human connection--'men and women are capable of sustained relations, not mere opportunities for an electrical discharge."

Michael Kimmel, The Gendered Society

June:

"But the assumption that the sexual dimension negates all other influences on cross-sex friendships denies the historicity of such relationships.  Like female friendships, friendships between men and women are socially constructed, and the same historical questions relate to both genres."

Linda Rosenzweig, Another Self: Middle-Class Women and Their Friends in the Twentieth Century

July:

"Only those who wish to find evil in our friendship will do so--and I, for one, will not have my life ruled by that sort of person."  Margaret Suckley writing in her diary on her friendship with Franklin Roosevelt, January 22, 1945

August:

"An inordinate concern over avoiding the appearance of evil has in many cases robbed us of meaningful connection as men and women."

Ruth Haley Barton

September:

"I find this concern about sexual temptation often overstressed and used as an excuse to marginalize women...I do worry a bit that behind the fear of temptation is a false view of female sexuality."

Frank James, Mixed Ministry

October:

"Authentic intimacy unwraps us by degrees, exposing us layer by layer to one another.  Spiritual friends unbandage us; they reveal us to ourselves.   But this is not to be feared, for they also pull us toward Christ.  As we are exposed, such friends stand ready to bathe us in grace, to flush out old wounds with tears and trust.  In the end, it is chastity, not promiscuity, that disrobes us before one another.  Thanks to the passion of spiritual friendship, we stand naked and vulnerable--without defense and pretext--before the passion of Christ...Friends hold out the promise of "being known," not through orgasm but through communion, first with God, and, through God, with one another."
Kenda Creasy Dean

November:

"Although embodiment as male or female represents limitations, loving interaction with the other can open up undreamed-of possibilities." 

Mary Aquin O'Neill, "The Mystery of Being Human Together" in Freeing Theology

December:

"The world is full of the sexually fragmented who are longing for the wholeness of the kingdom.  Victory is not a matter of living in fear of sexual sin: that is as much an idolatry of sex as looking to sexuality for ultimate fulfillment is...The church is called to walk in the tension between the idolatries of sexuality, between the illusory safety of rules and the risky obedience of victory, between what we are and what we are not yet."

Jennifer Ould

 

"In the Christian setting, this means that a cross-gender friendship can only be realized in the context of an inner asceticism that refuses to yield to passion out of the yearning  for something greater than sexual satisfaction.  For the friendship to succeed, it is not necessary to deny that sexual tension may exist...These are relationships that forge the transformation of eros into a glorious and rich philia."

Paul D. O'Callaghan The Feast of Friendship

May:

"To sustain our lives, to enable us to experience the full range of our pleasures, to achieve the deep emotional connections with lovers and friends,we must remember that ways that gender does and does not construct our emotional lives.  To pretend that women and men are from different planets condemns us, at best, to occasional interplanetary travel, with interpreters and technical assitance.  I'd prefer that the interpreters stay home, and that we learn to reveal more of ourselves.  Love and friendship are deeply human experiences--ones we should manage on our own.  As the great British novelist E.M. Forster wrote of passionate human connection--'men and women are capable of sustained relations, not mere opportunities for an electrical discharge."

Michael Kimmel, The Gendered Society

June:

"But the assumption that the sexual dimension negates all other influences on cross-sex friendships denies the historicity of such relationships.  Like female friendships, friendships between men and women are socially constructed, and the same historical questions relate to both genres."

Linda Rosenzweig, Another Self: Middle-Class Women and Their Friends in the Twentieth Century

July:

"Only those who wish to find evil in our friendship will do so--and I, for one, will not have my life ruled by that sort of person."  Margaret Suckley writing in her diary on her friendship with Franklin Roosevelt, January 22, 1945

August:

"An inordinate concern over avoiding the appearance of evil has in many cases robbed us of meaningful connection as men and women."

Ruth Haley Barton

September:

"I find this concern about sexual temptation often overstressed and used as an excuse to marginalize women...I do worry a bit that behind the fear of temptation is a false view of female sexuality."

Frank James, Mixed Ministry

October:

"Authentic intimacy unwraps us by degrees, exposing us layer by layer to one another.  Spiritual friends unbandage us; they reveal us to ourselves.   But this is not to be feared, for they also pull us toward Christ.  As we are exposed, such friends stand ready to bathe us in grace, to flush out old wounds with tears and trust.  In the end, it is chastity, not promiscuity, that disrobes us before one another.  Thanks to the passion of spiritual friendship, we stand naked and vulnerable--without defense and pretext--before the passion of Christ...Friends hold out the promise of "being known," not through orgasm but through communion, first with God, and, through God, with one another."
Kenda Creasy Dean

November:

"Although embodiment as male or female represents limitations, loving interaction with the other can open up undreamed-of possibilities." 

Mary Aquin O'Neill, "The Mystery of Being Human Together" in Freeing Theology

December:

"The world is full of the sexually fragmented who are longing for the wholeness of the kingdom.  Victory is not a matter of living in fear of sexual sin: that is as much an idolatry of sex as looking to sexuality for ultimate fulfillment is...The church is called to walk in the tension between the idolatries of sexuality, between the illusory safety of rules and the risky obedience of victory, between what we are and what we are not yet."

Jennifer Ould

 

"But the assumption that the sexual dimension negates all other influences on cross-sex friendships denies the historicity of such relationships.  Like female friendships, friendships between men and women are socially constructed, and the same historical questions relate to both genres."

Linda Rosenzweig, Another Self: Middle-Class Women and Their Friends in the Twentieth Century

July:

"Only those who wish to find evil in our friendship will do so--and I, for one, will not have my life ruled by that sort of person."  Margaret Suckley writing in her diary on her friendship with Franklin Roosevelt, January 22, 1945

August:

"An inordinate concern over avoiding the appearance of evil has in many cases robbed us of meaningful connection as men and women."

Ruth Haley Barton

September:

"I find this concern about sexual temptation often overstressed and used as an excuse to marginalize women...I do worry a bit that behind the fear of temptation is a false view of female sexuality."

Frank James, Mixed Ministry

October:

"Authentic intimacy unwraps us by degrees, exposing us layer by layer to one another.  Spiritual friends unbandage us; they reveal us to ourselves.   But this is not to be feared, for they also pull us toward Christ.  As we are exposed, such friends stand ready to bathe us in grace, to flush out old wounds with tears and trust.  In the end, it is chastity, not promiscuity, that disrobes us before one another.  Thanks to the passion of spiritual friendship, we stand naked and vulnerable--without defense and pretext--before the passion of Christ...Friends hold out the promise of "being known," not through orgasm but through communion, first with God, and, through God, with one another."
Kenda Creasy Dean

November:

"Although embodiment as male or female represents limitations, loving interaction with the other can open up undreamed-of possibilities." 

Mary Aquin O'Neill, "The Mystery of Being Human Together" in Freeing Theology

December:

"The world is full of the sexually fragmented who are longing for the wholeness of the kingdom.  Victory is not a matter of living in fear of sexual sin: that is as much an idolatry of sex as looking to sexuality for ultimate fulfillment is...The church is called to walk in the tension between the idolatries of sexuality, between the illusory safety of rules and the risky obedience of victory, between what we are and what we are not yet."

Jennifer Ould

 

"Only those who wish to find evil in our friendship will do so--and I, for one, will not have my life ruled by that sort of person."  Margaret Suckley writing in her diary on her friendship with Franklin Roosevelt, January 22, 1945

August:

"An inordinate concern over avoiding the appearance of evil has in many cases robbed us of meaningful connection as men and women."

Ruth Haley Barton

September:

"I find this concern about sexual temptation often overstressed and used as an excuse to marginalize women...I do worry a bit that behind the fear of temptation is a false view of female sexuality."

Frank James, Mixed Ministry

October:

"Authentic intimacy unwraps us by degrees, exposing us layer by layer to one another.  Spiritual friends unbandage us; they reveal us to ourselves.   But this is not to be feared, for they also pull us toward Christ.  As we are exposed, such friends stand ready to bathe us in grace, to flush out old wounds with tears and trust.  In the end, it is chastity, not promiscuity, that disrobes us before one another.  Thanks to the passion of spiritual friendship, we stand naked and vulnerable--without defense and pretext--before the passion of Christ...Friends hold out the promise of "being known," not through orgasm but through communion, first with God, and, through God, with one another."
Kenda Creasy Dean

November:

"Although embodiment as male or female represents limitations, loving interaction with the other can open up undreamed-of possibilities." 

Mary Aquin O'Neill, "The Mystery of Being Human Together" in Freeing Theology

December:

"The world is full of the sexually fragmented who are longing for the wholeness of the kingdom.  Victory is not a matter of living in fear of sexual sin: that is as much an idolatry of sex as looking to sexuality for ultimate fulfillment is...The church is called to walk in the tension between the idolatries of sexuality, between the illusory safety of rules and the risky obedience of victory, between what we are and what we are not yet."

Jennifer Ould

 

"I find this concern about sexual temptation often overstressed and used as an excuse to marginalize women...I do worry a bit that behind the fear of temptation is a false view of female sexuality."

Frank James, Mixed Ministry

October:

"Authentic intimacy unwraps us by degrees, exposing us layer by layer to one another.  Spiritual friends unbandage us; they reveal us to ourselves.   But this is not to be feared, for they also pull us toward Christ.  As we are exposed, such friends stand ready to bathe us in grace, to flush out old wounds with tears and trust.  In the end, it is chastity, not promiscuity, that disrobes us before one another.  Thanks to the passion of spiritual friendship, we stand naked and vulnerable--without defense and pretext--before the passion of Christ...Friends hold out the promise of "being known," not through orgasm but through communion, first with God, and, through God, with one another."
Kenda Creasy Dean

November:

"Although embodiment as male or female represents limitations, loving interaction with the other can open up undreamed-of possibilities." 

Mary Aquin O'Neill, "The Mystery of Being Human Together" in Freeing Theology

December:

"The world is full of the sexually fragmented who are longing for the wholeness of the kingdom.  Victory is not a matter of living in fear of sexual sin: that is as much an idolatry of sex as looking to sexuality for ultimate fulfillment is...The church is called to walk in the tension between the idolatries of sexuality, between the illusory safety of rules and the risky obedience of victory, between what we are and what we are not yet."

Jennifer Ould

 

"Authentic intimacy unwraps us by degrees, exposing us layer by layer to one another.  Spiritual friends unbandage us; they reveal us to ourselves.   But this is not to be feared, for they also pull us toward Christ.  As we are exposed, such friends stand ready to bathe us in grace, to flush out old wounds with tears and trust.  In the end, it is chastity, not promiscuity, that disrobes us before one another.  Thanks to the passion of spiritual friendship, we stand naked and vulnerable--without defense and pretext--before the passion of Christ...Friends hold out the promise of "being known," not through orgasm but through communion, first with God, and, through God, with one another."
Kenda Creasy Dean

November:

"Although embodiment as male or female represents limitations, loving interaction with the other can open up undreamed-of possibilities." 

Mary Aquin O'Neill, "The Mystery of Being Human Together" in Freeing Theology

December:

"The world is full of the sexually fragmented who are longing for the wholeness of the kingdom.  Victory is not a matter of living in fear of sexual sin: that is as much an idolatry of sex as looking to sexuality for ultimate fulfillment is...The church is called to walk in the tension between the idolatries of sexuality, between the illusory safety of rules and the risky obedience of victory, between what we are and what we are not yet."

Jennifer Ould