Fear of Friendship Among Christians

Of course, many Christians would scratch their heads over someone suggesting fears of friendship.   Friendship?  Fears?  It's obvious that many good Christians fear closeness when it comes to cross-gender friendships.  There are well-meaning, solid Christians who fear the repercussions of my book.   

I stand in good company.  Aelred of Rievaulx's classic, Spiritual Friendship was not a popular choice among his peers when it came out.  I believe there is enough data available to come to a conclusion that Aelred would not be an advocate of sexual intimacy between two men (or women for that matter).  Yet Aelred, fully knowing the traditional social order boundaries of "playing it safe" suggested it was wise, fruitful, and godly to pursue deep friendships between two men.  

Yet, there have been godly and wise Christians who suggest Aelred's book is a classic on spiritual friendship.  They suggest such intimacy is virtuous.

Openly gay Christians draw inspiration, strength, and support from Aelred's book, too.  In a brand new book, On the Meaning of Friendship Between Gay Men, there is a chapter that sees Aelred's book as entirely applicable to gay relationships.  Indeed Christians who are gay suggest that if we don't read the Gospel accounts with certain hetereosexual assumptions embedded in sexual scripts, we see Jesus laying his head on a friend's chest, washing men's feet, etc. 

Is Jesus, the man (not ignoring his divine nature here--but emphasizing his humanity) a product of his culture and time, or is he suggesting close love between men is possible--a love transcending his immediate culture?  The truth is that Jesus resists any formulaic or shallow responses when it comes to friendship and fears of getting too close--between genders or same genders. 

Comments

[linda]

dan, when i was in nepal i'd see men holding hands. it was just a cultural thing and something heterosexual men did to show affection with their friends. the christian men did it too.